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  • by Jamaal

Daughters--God's Wicked Sense of Humor


I am a Christian. Am I perfect? Nope. Do I claim to have it all together? Nope. However, I do believe in God. I believe He created the heavens and the earth. I believe in salvation. I believe in Heaven and Hell. I believe that everything in the universe is controlled and created by the Almighty.

I also believe that God has a wicked sense of humor.

I am not going to lie. There was a time in my life where I wasn't the perfect man to every woman that I dated. Especially in my 20s. I should send reparations to every girl I dated back then because I was a terror. I did some pretty dumb stuff. Not because I wasn't raised right. My parents were married pretty much my whole life until my Mom passed away. My Dad remarried and has been happily married to the same woman for over ten years. I know what it takes to be a good man and make a relationship to work. I just chose to go left, when I should have went right.

So what does God do? He gives me daughters.

And two really pretty little girls. I mean I'm not trying to brag, but my little girls are beautiful. (It's because they look like their Daddy!) However, since I have pretty little girls, there are certain things that I have to worry about. Namely, little boys. Especially for my oldest daughter. Ayanna. She's 12. Starting to "fill out". And I want to throw up in my mouth every damn day.

Last year, I made them do an exercise. I told them that little boys are like dogs. And when they come sniffing around, and trying to talk to them in that "Hey, what's good gurl?" kinda way they have to say this to them:

Put your hand out and say, "Stop. I don't have time for this." And walk away.

Yeah, that shit didn't last long.

To my face, my girls were all on board with that. They ain't dumb. They know what to say to get passed me. (Don't all kids???) But I know there was going to come a time where they weren't going to go for that anymore. My oldest daughter is in middle school now. The wonderful time in her school career where her girl friends are starting to talk and (ugh) experiment with boys.

As a father, my job is to protect and cover my daughters. At all costs. Hear me very clearly, I will proudly go to prison or die for the protection of my kids. Every man who is worth his salt as a father should feel the same way. That is not up for discussion or negotiation. Therefore, I want to protect them from the heartache, craziness, and bullshit that little boys bring. Why? Because I was that guy at some point as well bringing heartache, craziness, and bullshit to someone else's daughter. And I'm sure this is God's revenge on me. "I'll give this dude two little girls, and let him raise them by himself", thus saith the Lord God.

A couple of days ago, I decided to have a real heart to heart talk with Ayanna about boys. I decided that I was not going to preach to her, but just listen to her. I asked her if she wanted a boyfriend at some point, she said yes. I asked her what types of boys that she would probably like, she said Black, smart, funny, and kinda nerdy. I asked her what would would she do if a boy broke her heart, she said she would punch him in the gut. And while I told her that don't want her officially dating until she's older, I can understand that she's starting to form her opinions of boys and I told her to ask me questions if she has any.

I know she's getting older, and it sucks. I want my baby to stay a baby forever. No lie. Dads want their boys to grow up, become men, and leave. When it comes to daughters, we want them to stay little girls forever. And every inch they take towards growing up feels like it tears a little piece of life away from me. I love them so much. But I know that she has to bump her head and make her own way. So the best I can do is try to guide her through this part of her life. I'm trying to hard to navigate, and it sucks, but I know I have to do it.

I know God has a sense of humor. He has to. Somewhere in the heavens, He's sitting up there watching what goes on with us laughing at the irony. And that's cool. Because being a Dad of two little girls is still the dopest thing that I've ever done in my life. Thank you God.

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