Breaking Up Is Hard To Do--Part II
Here we are, back again!
A couple of months ago, I wrote a post about Ayanna having a her first real puppy love "boyfriend". Feel free to back and read that post if you like, however, the abridged version is that she got a "boyfriend", then snuck off to a party to meet up with him, Detective Daddy figured out the plot, and she barely escaped with her life.
Well folks. I'm sorry to say that relationship is over.
She got dumped.
Okay, I'm not sorry. I never really wanted my baby to be out here liking boys at 13 anyway. So I'm sorry if I'm not going to be pouring out liquor for the little homie that can't be here today. Real talk. I never liked the dude anyway. Here is what the only conversation between me and him went like...
One day, I came into Ayanna's room to ask her something. Of course, she was FaceTiming with her little "boyfriend". I came in the room, asked her to put the phone down, and talk to me right quick.
"Hey wassup, Ayanna's pops!" he said.
Now, I don't know if I really had a bad day. Or if I'm just getting old and funny acting. (Yep, I'm just getting old). But the way he said that, just hit me wrong that day. So I replied... (Explicit language ahead)
"Pops??? Aye lil' nigga, I'm Mr. Peeples to you."
Now, on some deep level do I feel bad that I called a little 13 year old boy "nigga" on my daughter's FaceTime, yeah. I know that's someone's son. I'm sure that if he would have told him Mom then I would have had an issue. But fuck it. That feeling passed quickly. If you're to talk to my daughter, then you gonna have to roll with the punches. Crazy Dad and Pretty Daughter are a package deal son!
Needless to say, after that, I never really liked the dude. Especially after the whole party thing that wasn't supposed to happen. But then, one day last week, I came into my daughter's room after getting off work and I noticed her on the bed crying.
I sat down on her bed, and I asked her what was wrong.
"Nothing." she said.
"Well, them seem like to be a lot of tears about nothing ma'am." I said.
"You'll think it's dumb." she said.
"No I won't."
"I got dumped." she said crying.
Now, let me pause this story. I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN! Hell I even kind of engineered this. Back in our original conversation when she asked to have a boyfriend, she told me that he didn't go her same school. So they never actually saw each other. The would talk on FaceTime or Snapchat, but other than that one time at the party, they never really saw each other. So it was like she was having a long distance relationship even though they lived in the same town. Yeah, I planned that one.
The other thing is that, I know little boys. (Hell I know men) And I knew that he would get bored. He would have other little girls in his face at his school and that eventually he would go for the low hanging fruit. Sad but true. Hell I did the same thing when I was a kid. (And sometimes as an adult). But I knew eventually that he would stray away.
Back to the story.
As I got more of the story out of her, I found out that the boy didn't actually tell her that he didn't to be with her. He had his friend message Ayanna and dump her.
So Ayanna reached out the boy and he told her exactly what I thought would happen. That he got "bored". And that he didn't to be with her anymore.
Now of course, no Dad wants to see their little girl crying. Especially over a boy. So I told her that I loved her and that she didn't need a boy to make her feel special. That she was special to me and that was all that mattered. I also gave her the same piece of advice that my Mom gave me the first time I got dumped...
"Boys are like buses...when one leaves, then there will be another one coming around the corner..."
But the damage was done. She was crushed. I came home one day and in my room was a letter that my daughter had wrote to this boy. I don't think she ever intended to give it to him. But she just wrote it to get her feelings out. There was a lot of pain, anguish, and cuss words in this letter. She was really really hurt. And I think she's still hurt over it.
Which is why I didn't want her to go through this in the first place. As parents, we try to shield our kids from the dumb stuff that goes on in life. I never wanted her to have a boyfriend because with that comes heartache and breakups. And I guess I wanted to be Super Dad and keep her from that.
But I've realized that part of growing up is letting our kids bump their heads and then be there to catch them when they cry. And that's what I'm trying to get better at. Catching my daughter when she falls.
So they'll be other boys. And other break ups. And other dumb stuff. And through it all, I'll still be Daddy. I'll still be there.
And when the next boy comes along, and breaks my daughter's heart, I'll be this same crass dude saying things to my daughter like this...
Read and discuss!