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  • by Jamaal

I'm not that cool anymore...


Happy Valentine's Day! No sarcasm. No joke. For real, I hope all of you lovers out there have a great day. And for those of us that have someone, please hug that person a little tighter today. You never know when the last time is going to be. So live everyday like Valentine's Day.

By the way, I know I've been gone awhile. Shit, I think this is the first blog post that I've written in 2019. Okay, my bad. I've been busy. Work, side hustle, kids. That's a lot for a man to handle ya know. But I'm back. And this time I promise I'm going to put more out there. I got a lot to say. And I'm paying for this website right? Every time I get a charge from this site, I think, "Damn I really should write another post." Welp, I got charged yesterday, and here I am!

Soooo... I'm not that cool anymore.

I think I'm the coolest person on the planet. Cooler than the other side of the pillow. Do I have the best outfits or do I always know the slickest thing to say, "Nope." But I think I'm pretty cool. And you know who I used to be really cool too? Who I was always funny, and awesome too?

My kids.

But not anymore.

And dammit, I feel some type of way about that!

For example, about five years ago when Ayanna was 7 and Amanyi was 4. We used to get home and then we would chill and watch TV and movies together. Every Saturday morning, we would Scary Movie Day. Where we would sit around and watch scary movies. We would lay on the couch, eat junk food, and chill. Or on just a regular evening, they would ask me to play dolls with them or take them to the park. We would even watch sports together. I was my kids' best friend.

Now I'm just their damn ATM and personal Uber.

I asked the girls if they wanted to watch a movie with me, the looked at me like I was super lame. Ayanna just stays on her phone watching Netflix and Snapchatting all of her friends. Amanyi does the same thing and draws. The only time I see my kids is if the wi-fi goes down. Then they come out of their rooms like zombies looking for wi-fi blood. They ask me for money for dances, parties, presents, etc. Then look at me crazy when I ask for a little bit of their precious time.

Yeah yeah yeah, I know they're growing up and they are getting friends and that will be more important to them than me. But dammit I miss being the coolest person they know! On one hand I want them to grow up and be more independent. (I mean the diaper stage was getting super old and expensive). But on the other hand, I still want them to look at me and be like, "My Daddy is the coolest guy I know." Now I might as well get a fannie pack and some Birkenstock sandals. Because I ain't that cool to them anymore.

However, a couple of nights ago, I did ask the girls if they wanted to watch a movie. Ayanna gave me that "nigga please" look. Amanyi said "No thank you Daddy." And, feeling dejected, I went upstairs and started watching a documentary about prison life. All of a sudden, Amanyi comes upstairs and asks, "What are you watching?" Then she climbs in bed with me, and watches the rest of the show with me. And falls asleep in my bed. Normally, I would make her go sleep in her room. But that night, it was really cool to know that I'm a little cool.

Now if I could just get the other one to fall in line...SMH.

Read and discuss.


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